Broken key (:


Dear world. This is not the end.



We're not done yet.

each night when i sleep ,
i'll always wish to dream again ,
hoping once again ,
i'll never wake up .
but it always ends up with cold sweat and tears ,

ouch .

girl you know i miss you so
i didn't know you had to go
you’ve had enough of our distance baby

before i had the chance to say
i'm staying with you
for the rest of my life

don’t keep telling me these words
you don’t know how much it hurts
and i’ll promise you eternity
if you promise me you'll stay
but now it’s too late
i’m no longer the man that i was

i will go on without her
like a fool who’s too sure
i’m like a bird who’s lost her wing
a fire without its flame

i don’t know how to be strong
when my life has to move on
i am a song without a soul
now that she’s gone
what’s left of us is this song

this is our song without a soul
now that you’re gone
what’s left of us is this song



Don't go.

i'm gonna be top in class. And no one, i'm telling you, and i mean NO ONE IS GONNA STOP ME.
RAWR

Gambate jiajing xD


heh on tuesday played soccer with my 206 and some other people.

I was desperate for sushi so i made soonkiat, daniel, eman, and darren eat sakae with me x)) Darren went to the dentist and met us later.

Eman + Daniel went home to change b4 meeting us at Jurong Point.

Me and soonkiat went to jurong point first

Then came the stupid part, the bus had no shit air- conditioning. It was like global warming time s ten :(
It was torture, i rather pay that 55cents and GIVE ME SOME AIRCON.

No service number :D

The door was open throughout the trip.





We just couldn't stop eating luhh. So i went home needing a larger pant size :D

Vic came over and gave eman a birthday present. Geez what kind of friend am i man! i didnt even know =/ Sorry eman. SO HERES YOUR BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :D

$80.25 for 5 people.

Screw GST + Service Charge, paid an extra 15% :(
But soon later would be 17% more, so its still worth it. Or at least i use that excuse to comfort myself XD


PS thats chopsticks on my nose (:



look at gay darren :D



don't let go.

hi peoplings :D
i had soooooo much fun at camp challenge. SOOO MUCH FUN I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE x))
I shared a room with nick, jeremy, samuel, ballzee, wenjie and lucas.
AHAHAHA the tai di, the macs at 3am, just too much.
We stayed out till 5am and some didn't even sleep. BROKE EVERY DARN RULE THERE IS IN THE BLOODY RULE BOOK!! :D :D
Crashed the bloody canteen to play midnight soccer, climbing on the roof outside the dorms, stealing tiramisu chocs from the staff kitchen! just couldn't stop shouting like headless monkeys ;D
First day was really really long, all the motivational talks and all.
ordered macs
hehe
We were sneaking upon the doggard security guard sleeping in his tiny cute little booth
Mcspicies was the sacrificial item for our extreme hunger :D
played tai di ,bluff and alotalotalotalot of crapping. Note the extreme RANDOMNESS!! Just too fun.
hey my name is sam and i pushed ballzee at 4am cause i think he's more handsome than me!! I also think i'm a really cool skater :)
The second night really wasted
fat teo patrolled the corridors and made us off the lights :[
So in darkness everyone fell asleep.
Stupid lucas was sleeping beside me and fucking pushed me off the bed!! Anyway nick had competition so i figured it was good this way so we all slept to daybreak.
Wasted.
hi my name is lucas and I sleeptalk.
The next day was just normal activities and nick came back from the southzone competition and sji THRASHED fairfield badminton 5-0 !!
heheh
Then we stayed up again and crashed the canteen again.
ordered macs again and nick and sam both had 20 piece nuggets. foah ballzee got sam super pissed by stealing his nugget without asking.
We sneaked out to eastcoast and played tai di to the cool sea breeze.
Its just too much fun for a post to cover luhh x)
lalala my name is jeremy and i think i'm a great leader
i can't pivot the boat any better than spongebob can (:

i brought you smiles , yet i took them away . i wanna make you smile , no matter what it takes =]

Lalala wednesday got camp at marine parade, its gonna be fun, don't think much sleep would be involved. Heard 326 ordered macs to the place and got totally screwed for it. And then they also sneaked out and got caught by the police =.="

Ohh well back to homework. Its no fun but i want first in class XDXDXD

Erm just came back from training and coach cfmed im going t2 with juniie ^^ i smell a medal. And erm mr tung is going extremely fast, faster than all the other classes, i'm scared =/
But the test i got 18.5/25 for? only 3 other ppl and 4 ppl in ashwin's class passed. WOOTS. Now very tired, but still have to go out to celebrate my grandmother's 67th birthday.( Its a guess =x)
And oh yes i've yet to get cao ge's album, think i'll get it on saturday lala. Not burning until i've had enough of the disc x))
TOO BAD.

yes , i am a fool .
there's a reason why i always call myself jiajing baka .
everyone's been telling me not to wait .
not to hope for something that'll never happen .

yes , maybe its true .
why wait for something that isn't gonna come back .
why wait ,
when the feeling she has is long gone .
when all i can sense is the irritance and the ignorance .
where did all the feelings go ,
i don't know .

i guess its obvious enough .
now , i mean nothing to you .
you can't be bothered about me .
and i wonder whether ,
you'd even spare some time to pass by my blog .
i guess not .

sleepless days and nights ,
trying to piece the puzzles together .
trying to find out how you felt ,
since you wouldn't tell me yourself .

and i guess i've finally understood .
i don't need an explanation anymore .
your actions are enough to show me .
you wouldn't even try to prove me wrong ,
what else can i say ?

it hurts ,
trying to force yourself into a state of denial ,
yet realizing you can't do it ,
that your heart is in pain ,
struggling to hold on to what's left .
the memories , the smiles .

wanting it all to come back ,
finally realizing everything was really just a dream .
but no matter how hard you try ,
you realize you can't get back again .

suddenly so afraid of being lonely .
in the middle of the night ,
when everyone is soundly asleep ,
and all that's left is my own shadow ,
the thoughts in my mind trigger the scars to bleed .

sometimes i wish to sleep and never wake up .
but i remember what i promised .
and sometimes i wish to continue on .
but reality just pains too much to be accepted .

until this very moment .
i've never blamed you .
to you it might have just been a fantasy ,
something that you would be able to end anytime .

i wish upon the stars .
that one day you'd wake up .

and to you.
i know you've been waiting for me .
maybe for months ?
and you've never failed to lend me a shoulder when i needed one .
maybe your way might be crude ,
but i appreciate the thought .

dont treat me so nice le .
it isn't worth it .
i'm just like what you call me ;
an asshole .
i'm not worth for you to wait ,
i'm not worth for you to care for .

don't waste your time le ,
my heart is with someone else .
and most probably it'll never change .
you're really a nice girl .
i hope you'll find someone much better than me .
someone who'll truly appreciate you .
and it won't be me.

take care.

didnt update ytd cause was busy with my sleep x))
I'm currently starting to mug cause sec 3 important year ^^
Just went gym with emman and then it started to rain. And i went bonkers walking to the bus-stop screaming like a doofus in the rain. IT WAS FUN!! x))


it was like a dream when i first saw you .
the first time i realized ,
i couldn't help but look at you .
standing alone ,
looking so innocent and gentle .

it was then ,
that feeling surged through my heart .
i felt a feeling that i didn't felt for a very long time .
at that moment i wished to see your smile .

my heart trembled ;
i didn't dare .
yet when you made that first move ,
i felt shocked , yet glad at the same time .

time seemed to fly after i got to know you .
we were getting closer .
but deep in my heart ,
the scars of my past haunted me terribly .

once again , you took the first step .
i believed in you ,
and took a step out of my deep slumber .
that was when our dream started to happen .

time flew once again ,
and this time it was even faster .
i felt as if i was flying without wings ;
in my dream ,
and i never wanted to wake up .

i remember the first milkybar i gave you ,
the first time i sent you back home ,
the piggie straps ,
the first time i held your hand ,
and the first time i whispered those words into your ears .

even though it isn't much ,
all the beautiful memories still remain in my mind .

i'm sorry ,
if i did stress you .
and i won't blame you .
you weren't sure of your feelings .
and i wouldn't want you to be sad for me .

since your heart isn't there ,
i guess i'll have to let you go .
i hope you'll be happier this way .
i still want to see your smile .

please .. take care of urself .
don't skip meals ..
and don't owaes play games till you're lazy to eat .
if you don't eat ,
how would you have the energy to concentrate ,
on ur sch work or games ?
stay happy , kaes ?

my broken dream ,
with the shattered pieces .
my eyes hurt ,
my heart bleeds .

but you're still that dream that i'll never forget .
i made a promise to walk you through ,
and i'll still be there .
no matter how much it pains .

i won't ever forget .
that feeling that came into me ,
when i first saw you .
and i'll never stop following my heart .

i'll still be there for you ,
whenever you need me .
aishiteru .

miss you , bird .

today we had lessons as usual. Got back my math and higherchinese test and got 18.5/25 and 41/70 respectively, which kinda suck real bad. Sigh, guess i have to work harder. After school we played soccer, and i lost my temper again and turned into a bastard. Sigh, trying to control but it got worse ><


i remember awhile back .
when I was at a bus stop .
waiting for a bus .
and my heart was unsteadily beating .

i thought it was fine .
but i guess what you said was true .
maybe it was another infatuation after all .

i tried to lead ,
i tried to show .
even though it was hard as the ignorance was present ,
i tried my best ,
even though it didn't seem right to me .

but i guess it was another try of single handed clapping ,
just that i didn't know that i was hitting it on a wall .

too many times comes the pain ,
followed by the tears .

baka jiajing.

when i thought all was lost ,
i told myself to think through again .
listening to different views ,
and spending hours staring at the ceiling .

i've finally realize where we'd went wrong .
but all's been said and done .
time can't be turned back .
but we can only try to make the future better .

trust ,
faith ,
understanding .
without these , everything would fail .

dar , i noe you wouldn't want me to say this .
but i'd still have to say ,
i'm sorry .
duibuqi !

i've turned around and explained ,
realizing everything was my fault .
yet i didn't know i was blind at that time .
but now , i'm clear of what i'm gonna do .

thanks for the smiles ,
thanks for the chance for us to be once again .
hopefully you still remember what i told you ! =)
and nothing will go wrong if we do so .

perhaps this was one of the obstacles ,
that was predestined to happen on us .
if that's the case ,
we've proven that it failed to make any impact on us .

lets move on together .
i'll be right beside you ,
i promise . ^^;

i love you ,
my baby/bird/pig :)

o many things in my mind .
so little air to breathe .
so many things i wanna write out .
but i just don't have the energy to .

the whole world just seemed to turn cold .
my hair is standing .
it seems like there ain't any warmth no more .
energy drained away from my body .

all i know now .
is that my heart hurts .
it bleeds ; and the scars sting .
add on the tears , it hurts more .

i chose to let go .
and once again ,
it was without a reason .
i had no explanation .
i wasn't asked to stay .
all i saw was bye , thanks , sorry .
and the next moment i saw you ,
happily playing .

nobody understands my pain .
i can't find anyone to pull me back .

i wish to sleep .
and never wake up .

i know the truth would hurt .
and i'd never wanna accept them .

please .
don't wake me up .

There is inevitable conflict between majority rule and minority rule. Conflict is an ever-present part of human life, and one of ruling parties, in general. The side of the majority rule wants one thing and the side of the minority rule wants another. One person wants one thing and another person wants another thing. Both parties can not rule at once, so a struggle of some sort must ensue.

However, in Albert Einstein’s case, it was totally different. It was definitely not a case of minority rule against majority rule; it was him against society, who had labeled him a ‘failure’.

He was unable to speak until the age of three. As a young man, some teachers were even convinced that he was actually disabled because he was unable to become fluent in German until he was 9 years old. It is believed that a teacher once told him that he would “never amount to anything in life”.

Unlike many kids, who would give the answer that first comes to their mind, Einstein would tackle every aspect of the question and give an opinionated answer, but that, gave him the label as someone who is mentally slow and unsociable. Growing up, he was always looked down by all his classmates, and was never given the chance to prove himself. Society didn’t accept him, and it was a case of majority labeling him as ‘the retarded boy who would never come to any good.’

Albert Einstein was dismissed by his teachers as being “slow and lazy”; however that was not the case and the world was there to witness that.

“I am not a genius, I am just passionately curious,” that was what Einstein said. He was extremely passionate about physics and math since young. He never wanted money or fame but only to make life better for others and to pursue his love of science and math and to always learn more about the world. He was never satisfied with the results and always wanted to learn more or go further with this findings.

Although he did not talk until the age of three, he displayed a strong sense of curiosity, and the ability to understand difficult mathematical concepts. Einstein’s thinking was so unorthodox such that he was able to theorize many ideas that advanced physics in a revolutionary way. Einstein made many contributions to society and many of his theories were based on relativity, which affected the world today. His name is associated with genius and is know is almost every household even though his inventions and discoveries are not always fully understood. The man who was once initially suspected of being mentally retarded is now considered to be a genius in today’s society. Without him, the world we know today would not be the same and such simple things such as television and the personal computer would not be here.

He went on to make many more fascinating discoveries and became the world’s number one scientist and Nobel Prize winner in physics, proving the world wrong in the process. He changed the lives of many and completely revolutionized the world. He was no longer ‘the retarded boy who would never come to any good.’ He was the man who changed the world.

Majority is always right? Not quite.

See majority isn't always right, alex still has a chance =x

PS. i wrote that but copying and pasting stuff of the internet. Too bad for the rest of you i'm simply a genius.

walking home this morning ,
the sky was bright ;
but a drizzle was falling from above .
and it seemed to fuse with those mixed feelings in me .

my past -
a time where i used to call it "our story" .
now , it remains in my mind as "my memories" .
many scars it had left on me ,
yet they weren't there for nothing ;
valuable lessons learnt .

it was my mistake ,
i was too selfish .
i had my share of attention ,
yet i wished for perfection .
and the road to it led me to despair .

the present -
a new beginning ,
a new chance ,
and a new story to be started .

at the start , it seemed impossible .
looking from afar ,
i knew that those moments that i imagined ,
could only appear in my dreams .

unexpected as it was ,
i felt my dream starting to come true .
bearing in mind the lessons learnt ,
i took a step forward ,
cautiously ,
trying to discover you .

and never had it felt so real .
it was all sweet at the start .
i thought to myself ,
i couldn't expect much more than this .

the past appeared in my mind ,
everytime i tried to make any move .
each time i wanted to make things happen ,
the scars would warn me of not to let history repeat itself .

i thought it was fine ,
i thought time would slowly melt away the ice .
but in the end ,
it didn't seem to be much help at all .
things seemed unchangable .

ignorance fell against insecurity ,
insecurity led to confusion .
i couldn't help thinking , wondering ,
what really was on your mind .

at first thought ,
i really didn't wanna believe the first thing that came to my mind .
but suddenly i realized ,
maybe it was true along .
reality has to be faced ,
running away isn't a solution .

you wish for an everlasting relationship ,
and i would want it too .
it takes two hands to clap ,
and two hearts to love .

its easy to achieve an everlasting relationship .
as long as no one lets go , its possible .
but you need to understand ,
it takes both sides .
what's the point of having an everlasting relationship ,
when the feelings aren't there ?

it isn't hard for others to understand you .
it's just that when they do ,
you insist on your thoughts ,
when you're not even sure of what you're feeling .

think again ;
love me ,
or not wanting to let me go ?
they're two totally different feelings .

maybe you went through too much in your life .
perhaps your past was somehow rough like mine .
and this time , you're sure that i wouldn't hurt you .
yes , you're that sure , thats why you chose me .
but was the feeling there for you ?
please understand the difference ,
of the feeling of security and the feeling of love .

you said you were afraid ,
and i believed your every word .
i gave you time ,
hoping that you'd slowly open up .

and then you told me your fear was gone .
but yet you remained the same .
i stood there staring blankly into space ,
confused by your actions ,
contradicting your words .

but now that i've realized it ,
i have to let you understand .

i'm sorry to say this but ,
the reason isn't your fear ,
but the reason is that you wanted me ,
you hoped for an everlasting relationship with me .
but it was because you knew i wouldn't hurt you ,
and not because you felt the same as i did .

i'm sorry ,
that you had to force yourself ,
to do things that you didn't want to .
you said you didn't mind ,
but i know you did all those just to prevent me from being sad ,
and not that you'd understood things .

thinking about it ,
i guess i've finally understood you .
i've finally explained my own doubts ;
i'm not confused anymore .

i hope you'd try to understand yourself better .
follow your heart ,
and not your mind .

but even if all this was true ,
it doesn't mean that i've given up .
i still won't ever forget that first day ,
when the image of you kept appearing in my mind ,
refusing to disappear .
i'll never forget that feeling ,
when i felt as if my dream came true .

if things became impossible ,
i'd still wanna be your best friend ,
still being there for you ,
like what i'm doing now .

i promised that i'd walk you through ,
no matter how tough the road is .
and i still will ,
whether i'm with you , or whether i'm not .

i'll still love you for what you are ,
and not what you're gonna become .
maybe one day when you finally understand ,
and you really feel something in your heart ,
i'll be waiting .

maybe now its time for me to be guided ?
can someone save me ?
can someone tell me what i should do ?

my mind tells me to let go ;
my heart reacts with pain .

i love you.



Ohh and yes. iphone is out. But next year then come singapore :[

So i'm no longer feeling sad. Damn those moodswings.Suddenly you just feel like there is nothing for you to look forward to and for no apparent reason, you feel sad, then a few minutes later, you feel extremely happy. Its just extremely weird, maybe i need Dr.Philibert to examine me.
And oh yes, yesterday during PE lye went bonkers. We were brought to LT1 under the excuse of a so-called important briefing, but we ended up listening to a ppt presentation we listen to every year,things like 'healthy diet', 'regular exercise' all reappeared once again. Apparently, lye felt everything the teacher was saying was funny and so he developed this strange laughing disorder and was attacking as though he's having a episode. So the bolding new PE teacher got him to stand up and asked for his name. This is where lye got extremely spastic.
"What is your name"
"hfahsf"

"huh? Come again?"
"dfsaojd"

"You better say it properly of you stand up for the rest of the lesson"
"afsakd!"

Well how goofy can one get? Well he had to meet the bolding ah gong during recess.

And 206 has just raided 334's recess table, all rights are reserved. And has been copyrighted, chopped TWO OH SIX ONLY!!

lmao.

i finally know why i feel so sad. Hmm she's ignoring me. Guess i'm pretty worthless to her. I once had her, didn't cherish her, and its all too late. Ahh well that is that. I got tuition tmr and i haven't started on my work yet, so i'm dead.
And yes how could i forget something so important. I haven't set my resolutions for the new year yet! You and i both know that usually these so-called resolutions are just for show. 90 percent of the time, the resolutions aren't met. But heck, for the sake of it, i shall make a list :D

1. Lessen the time which i use the comp, and spent the time i have using the computer to do physics and chemistry research.

2. Eat less fries and drink less coke, that also includes less mac-ing :D

3. Read more chinese books to improve my standard of chinese. Which for your info is as bad as an china national speaking english.

4. Refrain from watching 1 hour or more of television, including soccer matches, which means no late nights in front of the television eating until i gain 5kg.

5. Sleep earlier and wake up earlier as it makes me much more healthy, as least that is what the doctors tell me.

6. Try not to make my teachers mad, that includes handing in my homework on time and less talking and more action in class. Also, i must also suck up to them and say that they are very beautiful, yes even to the old-hairy-whitehaired male teachers.

Okay it doesn't take a genius at all to realise that the 6 resolutions i made is complete bullshit. Instead, i wanna do more of the 6 things i listed. More fries, more coke, more tv, thats heaven. But this new year, i have 1 real resolution, i have a point to prove you see. That is to complete and hand in my homework in time, that is, without copying from anyone. Well, it might not come through, but.. i try

And looking back at the past year, things have been lost and gained, tears shed, blood loss, pain endured, but at the end of the day i look back and have all those fond memories. The tau pok everyday after school, the ACE camp, the exchange of vulgarities everyday during class the beijing exchange programme. These things may not be pretty, but they are definately worth remembering. I don't think i'll ever forget year 2006, a special year, in every aspect.

Reminiscence 206'06

Okay nothing to post about. School life is boring. Love life is boring. Virtual life is even worse. I've been bloody banned from using the computer as much i used to and that sucks. Yes i admit i was addicted but that was only during the holidays. Let me ask you. A person wakes up, eats and goes back to sleep, and that was almost his daily routine. I'm sure that was the routine for many people and you don't see them getting scolded for wasting life away sleeping throughout the day and computer games players always get the stick for TIME WASTING. You see, we are actually saving time; and the environment too. Sleeping is just pure time wasting, at the end, after you wake up, what do you get? Nothing but headaches. If we go out like everyday, that is equal to more plastic wastage when we buy bus-tickets, sweets, movie tickets, ITS A BLOODY WASTE OF PAPER.
LoL i really sound extremely unreasonable. but heck, i'm always right xD

Hmm school has just restarted but yet i still find myself extremely troubled, the reason? Still rather unknown. Things haven't been going for me at all, and i cant help but feel kind of depressed at times. Perhaps it was the overload of fries during the hols, or maybe it was the burgers. But anyhow, i still feel a great lack of motivation to do anything. But i'm looking forward to this calender, a few great milestones to look forward to, and perhaps, change my mood, which has been constantly experiencing moodswings these days. Maybe its just all that angst inside me.
I have a dumb chemistry teacher ; so its hard not to fail.
I have a fat pig as my canoeing teacher-in-charge; its hard not to fall sick on training days.
So perhaps i should just suicide.
Hmm maybe not. i havent eaten enough of fries and sushi yet.

But ahh well, all i can do is just let time take its toll and let nature take place. Maybe, just maybe i might feel better. But there are somethings that i really want and look forward to this year.

- Man Utd beating chelsea and completing a treble, something that can be achieved rather easily if we continue to play the way we are playing. Btw its already 50 goals in the league.
SO EAT YOUR HEART OUT CHELSEA!!

- The ending of the canoeing nationals. So now i'd just train hard to finish the nationals, and after that, no more canoeing. Never. Fat teo you have tortured me enough.

- The soccer-interclass in february, sadly to say, its ours to lose. AHHHA i'm such a cocky bastard. But too bad xD

- Playing maple again. Its a game i can never forget. Call it childish, call it a waste of cash, call it whatever you like but i still like it all the same.

- Chinese new year = revenue = new bag = better mood.

- The release of the new mr. bean movie opening in mid june. Goodie, there's nothing like mr bean for just shear entertainment.

And i miss 206 alot. Yes thats the same bunch of idiots that made 3 teachers walk on of class on the same day. Yeah the same bunch that you see on youtube squashing each other and jumping off chairs. The same bunch that never cleans their plates after eating. The exact one that has a special place in my heart. We went through everything, including 2 years of miss tan, so what else is impossible?

Hsiang Wei [THE NJC BOY :D]
Junhong [The NCC land CSM]
Nick[The malay?]
SoonKiat[The genius]
Joel[The fellow canoeist]
Darrell[The scout]
Tricia[The ex-schoolmate]
Gwen[The ex-classmate]
ShenYang[The ex-classmate]
Charity 6 [The ex-class blog]
ChunKai[The ex-classmate]
Daphne[The small basketballer]
Darren[The BOYFRIEND :D]
Neek[The badminton vice-captain]
Jeremy[The tennis/soccer DAWGG]
Delvin[The prefect]
Aaron[The alcohol lover]
Kaslyn[The maplefriend]
Daniel[The soccermate]
Pei Wen[The girl]

Archives

October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007

Credits

layout : +
image: +
brushes: CS2 shapes